Trust

Let's talk about trust.

I wanted to talk about arguments in a relationship, because the phrase "constructive arguing" came to mind. What the hell is that? Isn't arguing constructively called a debate?

But that's for another post.

Back to trust. What is trust and how deep does it go? Is blind trust the same as faithful trust?  Are there degrees of trust within the relationship? Did you have blind trust in your partner when you first got together. Or did you trust them on some things and not others?
Make no mistakes here. I'm not talking about trusting your husband to take out the garbage or not forgetting the milk you told him to pick up from the store. I'm talking about life choices here.

Here's an example. Old black and white movie (whose title I can't recall) with Errol Flynn and Myrna Loy. Errol was one of the first bad boys along with James Cagney and George Raft. Anyway, Errol, being the ladies man that he was was at a ballroom dance with Myrna Loy in the movie. He danced and flirted with a great many women while Myrna Loy sat at the table, sipped champagne and smiled a lot. When one of her friends ask her whether or not she was worried that one of the many women coming on to him would steal him away, she turned her head to her friend, smiled and said," He may flirt and dance with them, but at the end of the night he comes home with me."

Can you say the same about your partner? Or has something happened in the relationship to turn your unfailing trust into just plain old trust? What's the difference? Here's another example. I love examples.
Your husband has just told you to go jump off a cliff (I know, I know). When you had unfailing trust you would have happily obliged, because you knew he would have stopped you or at the very least provided a net for you to land in.

But now you have plain old every day trust. With doubts. But the ordinary trust overrides your common sense and you jump off the cliff.  And to your relief you see that there is indeed a net. But with heightened senses, because of the situation you're in, you also notice that one of the nets corners hasn't been tied off and you realize that instead of having a rough but safe landing, you are going to die.

As your body strikes one of the many rocks below, shattering your ribs and driving shards of bone into your heart, you manage to roll over accompanied by massive pain and great gouts of blood issuing from your various orifices, you see a blurred image of your life partner at the top of the cliff frantically waving his or hands and yelling, "Honey! I forgot to tell you we need more rope!"

So what do you have in your partner? Unfailing trust or plain old every day ordinary trust. Think hard on this because the wrong choice could have very unpleasant consequences.